Arrived to work this morning to find all systems down, colleagues are off work and my meetings cancelled. I’m sat at my desk desperately trying to think out of the box... How will I achieve what I want to when all the things that usually enable me are not helping? I’ve busied myself tidying and updating my “To Do” List. This has only panicked me more, I need to get on. I’ve rang IT Support and they tell me admin are dealing with it. Rang admin, nobody is available. I want to know what’s happening and some estimation of when I can take back control. I’m feeling really frustrated, floundering and a bit helpless. I’m actually losing hope that I’m going to get done what I need to and how I will pick up the pieces afterwards.
So... I’m writing a blog. But what about! My mind wonders from how I’m feeling right now to how people must feel when they are stuck in a permanent cycle of trying and failing, out of control and getting nowhere. Feeling frustrated and helpless. Floundering in a context that just isn’t working for them.
I can think of many who might feel like this. In particular, I’m thinking of the young people whom I work with trying to find their place on the adult pathway of responsibility and contribution. Many with hidden disabilities such as autism, adhd, and lots of things beginning with “D”... Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and so on. Some diagnosed, some not! Huge issues around lack of confidence and self worth, anxiety, depression - a host of mental health problems, are common to most of them. A few other bits and pieces get added to the mix such as an early life through the care system, abuse along the way, the responsibility of caring for a sole parent with disabilities, maybe younger siblings too, parents with similar issues, failed education... I could go on.
So where does that leave them... Not really in the best place to make that transition into adulthood is the quickest answer.
And how do we respond as a society? We create expectations they are unlikely to achieve that not only set them up to fail but we add a pinch of hostility to make sure it hurts as much as it can.
The downward spiral
The life experiences young people have shared with me who have tried and failed over and over have been heartbreaking. They are totally disempowered and life can feel hopeless to them. The hostility and stigma they experience when they try again but don’t quite make the mark will be punishable and often results in disengagement. Who would want to come back for another blow when there is nothing to give and nothing to gain! Are these people our hidden NEETS? (Not in education, employment or training). Then the downward spiral begins > No money > no food > no phone or internet > no social connections /lack of information /no access to job applications > no rent paid > no home ...
I’m trying to imagine their desperation and feeling a bit silly because I was feeling frustrated, helpless and desperate because my systems at work were down. My stuff at some point will be switched back on and yes, I will be behind but will catch up.
I can’t compare can I! But my feeling of desperation, despite my own dramatisations, did inspire me to think of a subject area for my blog... ALL SYSTEMS FAIL means something quite different to me than what it does to people where systems are not working for them consistently across their lives both in the past and potentially in the future!
A personalised approach works
I met these young people through Talent Match Middlesbrough which was set up to help young people furthest away from the labour market. It’s been running for almost four years now and during that time, many young people involved are struggling with massive issues like those I outline above. I describe real circumstances with real people and that’s only the tip of the iceberg! If there is one thing I’ve learned during my own involvement is that young people have really benefited from the personalised approach that adapts to their needs, when they need it, from people around them that show kindness and really care. It has been wonderful to see individuals gain confidence and self worth, skills and friendships and witness the impact this has had on their lives. It has been my privileged to share these journeys with such beautiful and characterful people.
Things must change
So what next... Well, this is my plea... Things Must Change. If we are to have truly inclusive communities, we must stop our intolerance of difference. We must stop presuming that those who are struggling are to blame for their own circumstances. We must adopt kindness and compassion across our communities but we must take kindness and compassion also into our workplaces as creators of policies and procedures, employers and colleagues, providers of learning, services and facilities. Those who are in positions of leadership and influence must head up with principles that bring communities together as opposed to driving wedges between them. They must be role models that inspire kindness and compassion in others. So whoever you are, think about your own life and how you can influence those of others.
Let’s get our systems working for everyone!
